THE ROAD TO

My path has been rocky, and the climb treacherous. I am ready, I am willing, and I am confident that I am on my way out of the hell of darkness, confusion, chaos, and despair. I know that my God/dess will bring me to a new existence where peace is abundant and love is queen. It is as if I am almost at the end of the road out. I have only a few steps left. I am tired, and I am ready for my new beginning—the road to. The road out is also the road to. The road out does not just end; a new path begins. I have been so consumed with the task of moving beyond my chaotic and soul-sucking existence that I have forgotten that there is a path to freedom, joy, love, and peace, where I am filled with ecstasy that is not based on external factors but simply on what I am. I am an image of the Goddess. I am an image of pure light, love, joy, and peace. My life is a reflection of beauty. I have the strength of the Creator of the universe within me. I do not need to continue to control the elements. I know that my God/dess is in control and will provide all I need, externally and internally. I can rest, and I can release all the pain, darkness, and fears that have been my polestar. My new polestar is pure love, freedom, and joy—forever and ever. Amen.

RIVER OF DELIGHT

When I let life flow through me as freely as I allow my breath to continue keeping me alive, this is when I can be fed by the river of delights that is a gift from my Creator to me. Letting the light of the Goddess who created me fill my soul and flourish the moments of my life is how I can be saved from my own foolishness. The river of delights that naturally flows through me will lead me to an abundance of peace, joy, and love. To be free is to let this flow open the dark doors of deceit that, in my own fears and desires, I have closed and locked and do not have the ability to open, as the key is not within my own knowledge but can only be found in my surrender. I have spent a lifetime trying to find a path around my cages, which I built in the loneliest and saddest days of my vulnerable childhood. I have looked to others, to outside circumstances, to destructive and disgusting toxic distractions, and to my own inept capabilities in a failed attempt to save myself from myself. Now, instead of this crooked and murderous path, I intend to let the river of delights be my way home.

JUST DON'T DO IT

I am learning that trying to do or be or change is not only exhausting but also unnecessary. There is a power a clarity a peaceful progression in just not doing not trying not focusing on what I think I need to do or be. This way of being is so counter culture to the society I live in and the way I was raised. But it feels right to me because I want to go beyond who I am. I want to grow. I truly believe that humans are similar to trees, flowers, nature in general. We do not have to make ourselves grow. My infant self is not responsible for my getting taller, my hands growing bigger. As a ponder how much involvement I had as an infant in my development, I cannot help but notice that it was my vulnerability and my dependance that led to my growth. Isn’t it true that you learn the most when you are young. Unfortunately, sometimes what you absorb is not always the most effective pathway to peace. But this idea, the concept of absorbing rather than controlling is no less valid. As an adult, I want to embrace the wisdom of God/dess, the Universe, and Mother Nature. I want to sit by the river, sipping tea, savoring the fruit from the trees, and leaving the tree of knowledge to what lies beyond my understanding—so that I may live in ecstasy.